Godly Girlhood ~ Part One: You've Been Lied To

Tomorrow, my almost-seventeen-year-old (sigh.) and I are going to get serious about studying "godly girlhood." Specifically, she's wanting to study the concepts behind courtship, the reasons that we reject the practice of dating, and how to prepare now for her future as a godly wife and mother. My plan is to blog as we go through various books, sermons, websites, etc., so I thought I'd begin this series on godly girlhood by posting our family's all-time favorite illustration on rejecting the practice of dating. Love, LOVE, L-O-V-E this. It's only two minutes long... give it a listen!

In Our Classroom: Virtue

The kids and I have just started working through a unit study based on The Book of Virtue. Here are some things on the subject of virtue that we learned last week. I am learning as much and probably more than they are in this study!

The "I Wills" of Virtue

• I will do what is right and encourage others to do the same.
• I will guard my eyes, ears, words and thoughts.
• I will learn to stand alone.
• I will abstain from anything which might damage or pollute my mind or body.
• I will treat others as I would want them to treat me. 

Virtue in the Home Includes...

• A parent establishing a standard of moral conduct in the family and upholding it by example.
• A parent teaching children to make wise choices about friends, music, and clothing.
• Family members dressing modestly, inside and outside the home.
• Family members filling their minds with God-honoring music and good influences.

Consequences in Sons and Daughters When Parents Allow Unrestricted Television

• It establishes the practice of tolerating evil to enjoy some good.
• Its amusement format lowers their resistance to evil.
• It provides constant access to the world's system and its false concepts.
• It deadens their conscience by providing comparison with new lows of immorality.
• It allows them to relate to evil individuals whom you would otherwise never allow into your home.
• It devours one of their most precious resources: Time.
• It stifles creativity by deadening their responses to conscience and Scripture.
• It ultimately makes them an enemy of God.

REVERT (verb) 1:To go back to a previous state;

This week, the kids and I ran into our former pastor at Walmart.  No, not THAT former pastor... but the one who replaced him.  It was amazing how I instantly reverted back to the person I was when I was a member of his church.  As soon as he saw us, he walked over and hugged me.  I hugged him back.  I didn't even think twice about it.  After talking to him for a few minutes and then going our separate ways, my nephew said, "You should have told him that you don't hug anymore."

Good point.  Too bad the fact that I no longer hug non-related men didn't even cross my mind until he said that.

As I thought about it later, it reminded me of something that happened with my niece almost a year ago.  (Some background:  My son went to the same Christian school from Kindergarten until graduation.  My niece and nephew went to public school until the year after my son graduated, and then they started attending his old school.  They were there for two years, and then went to a very small Baptist school for a semester, and have been home schooled ever since.)

Last winter, we went to their old school to watch my son in the yearly Alumni basketball game, where the alumni play against the current team.  We had been very unhappy with the person that my niece was when she attended that school, and so I was concerned about how things were going to go with us seeing her former friends/schoolmates.  At that point, they had been away from that school and those friends for nine months.  I remember thinking that nine months is the amount of time that it takes to get a new life (pregnancy), and hoping that it was also a sufficient amount of time for their "new life" to have changed them.

It was amazing how quickly she reverted back to that old person.  After the game was over, we were standing in the middle of the court talking to my son and his friends, and some girls came over to talk to her.  She INSTANTLY got "the look" on her face.  The best description that comes to mind is "haughty".  When she was in public school and in the first Christian school, she had this LOOK that would always be on her face whenever she was with her friends or being corrected by an adult.

It was absolutely amazing to see how quickly that look popped onto her face.  It was instantaneous.  But the good news is that she and I had talked about the whole issue ahead of time, and she seemed to have been putting a lot of thought into not wanting to fall back into her old ways... and so when we were at the game and I saw "the look", I said "Put your eyebrows down" and she said "Sorry" and changed her expression.  I cannot begin to tell you what a huge amount of growth in maturity that was for her!  In all the years that she would have that look on her face, she would always deny knowing what I was talking about when I would correct her for it.  So this really felt like a huge victory.  :)

I love it when God shows me deeper truths through seemingly small real-life examples.  The example of K last year at the basketball game, and me the other day at Walmart, have taught me a few lessons.  (If you can think of any others, please comment!)

• "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners" (1 Corinthians 15:33)  In this verse, "communications" means "company" or "companions."  I'm not necessarily suggesting that none of K's friends from her former school were saved, but I am suggesting that every single one of them acted like the world, and acted absolutely no different than how you would expect public school kids to act.  And I'm certainly not suggesting that my former pastor is evil company.  He loves the Lord very much and it shows.  And if I had told him that I no longer hug non-related men, I have NO doubt that he would have respected that. But what I am suggesting is that if a companion consistently causes me to lower my standards, that is a companion that I probably should not be spending much time with.

• But really, the blame comes down to ourselves.  Those friends did not force K to act in a certain way for two years, and to stumble when seeing them after nine months of being apart.  My former pastor did not force me to hug him.  This reminds me of an example I've heard before.  When someone squeezes a ketchup bottle, ketchup comes out.  The reason that the ketchup is coming out is because the ketchup was in the bottle to begin with!  Just like when peer pressure squeezes a child and rebellion comes out.  The rebellion couldn't have come out if it hadn't been there to begin with.  Or with anger.  If someone "causes me to lose my temper," did they really cause it? Hatefulness wouldn't come out of me if it weren't already there.  For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.  Matthew 12:34b

• The two examples that I have given are very different. The example about my niece is an example of someone who was made aware of a persistent sin in her life, and was aware of the upcoming temptation.  Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us... Hebrews 12:1a.  She knew ahead of time that this would be an issue, and so she had time to pray and think about it ahead of time, and to make a plan.  (Her plan of attack was to sit with us and try not to talk to anyone, and she did a pretty good job of it!) I had been praying about it and had asked a couple of others to be praying about it.  Things went pretty well, but even when they didn't go well, she was willing to change and was easily corrected.    

• In the other example, I was pretty much blindsided.  I didn't know it was coming, and I wasn't prepared for it. This is my own fault!  I need to be aware of my standards to the point of them being as a second nature to me.  I wouldn't "forget" that I don't wear pants, and "accidentally" buy a pair of them!  So I'm not sure why I would forget about the hugging issue.  I suppose it's because the dressing issue is an every day issue, and the hugging is not.  But regardless, it has taught me that I need to be more aware of what I believe, and more mindful of what standards I have chosen to follow.

Frugal Friday!

Just when my three blog readers had given up on Frugal Friday, it rises from the ashes like a phoenix! Ok, well maybe not. But I received this email offer today and I thought it was too good to not share. :)

For today only, WholesomeChildhood is offering a bundle of 13 pdf cooking books for $5.99. It's available to the first 500 customers only. I'm ordering it, and I think several of my two blog readers (haha) might be interested in the Classic books (old-fashioned type). They look so cute! They are storybook/cookbooks that appear to be old-fashioned stories about girls learning how to cook, etc.

* The Homeschool Family Favorites Cookbook

* Homeschool Kids in the Kitchen

* Hands On Recipes for Homeschool Kids

* The Big Book of Christmas Treats

* 100 Fun Food Recipes for Creative Cooks

* The Mary Frances Cookbook: Adventures Among the Kitchen People

* A Little Cookbook for a Little Girl

* A Little Candy Book for a Little Girl

* Six Little Cooks or Aunt Jane's Cooking Class

* When Mother Lets Us Cook

* The Fun of Cooking: A Story for Boys and Girls

* The Big Brownies Cookbook

* The Big Banana Cookbook

Here's the link! I was quite excited when I realized that today is Friday and I could pawn this off as a Frugal Friday post. :)

Sin: Just Like a Spilled Drink

The other day, I had piles of coupons and papers to be filed lying on the kitchen table, along with my laptop.  My nephew put a glass on the table, poured himself a drink, and promptly knocked the glass over.  I just sat there and watched the drink quickly spread over the surface of the table, getting all of my coupons and papers wet.  As I looked on, the drink eventually reached my laptop and ruined it completely.


Don't panic. That's not what actually happened.  Here's what really happened:  As soon as my nephew knocked the drink over, I jumped up and started yelling at him.  I lectured him about how careless he was and about how much damage he had done to my things and how disappointed I was in him.   Meanwhile, the drink spread across the table and ruined my coupons, papers, and laptop.

Well, I'm sure you're on to me by now.  That is not what actually happened.  What really happened is exactly what you would expect.  I quickly jumped up, snatched my laptop up off the table, instructed someone to grab some paper towels, and started grabbing papers up off the table to keep the wet ones from getting completely ruined, and to keep the dry ones from getting wet.

The two previous scenarios seem ridiculous, don't they?  But it occurred to me that there might be a lesson to learn there.  I actually ended up learning two.

Lesson #1:  Sin in My Life; Sin in Your Life

The first insight I got out of this whole fiasco was in noticing how quickly I jumped up and started fighting against the stream of liquid heading toward things that were important to me. But when I see a sin trickling along in my life, do I jump up this quickly and fight this hard?  Or do I procrastinate in tackling it?  Or worse, just sit there watching it happen, wishing things were different, but resigning myself to it?  

What about when I see sin in other people's lives?  I'm not talking about walking around all plank-eyed and pointing out the speckled lives of my friends.  I'm talking about serious patterns of sin in the lives of my loved ones.  Am I quick to react with serious prayer and loving, but firm counsel and/or correction?  Or do I do nothing because I'm too worried about how it will affect our relationship?  Or worse, am I so wrapped up in myself that I overlook or forget about those loved ones' sins?

Lesson #2: Train 'Em Up

The other lesson I took away from all this is a short and sweet one.  Child training.  Just as in the scenario in which I did nothing and watched my things become ruined by a spilled drink, I can sit by idly and watch as sinful habits, behaviors, and attitudes grow in my children (and then somehow be surprised when they have become soaked by them).

On the other hand, I can become irritated by their sins and spend a lot of time lecturing them and showing my disappointment in them, while doing nothing to stop the spreading of the "spilled drink".  

Or I can take this lesson to heart, realize the life and death importance of fighting off the sins that creep in, and work with them... side by side... to clean up the mess.

 

Adventures in Babysitting

While they put some finishing touches on our new church building last weekend, I supervised my niece as she babysat four kids (Lawrence, Kylie, Meredith, and Abilene) from our church. It was a hoot. :)

Cute stories from the babysitting adventure:

• When the adults were leaving, Bridget told her grandson that while she was gone, if he wanted to do things, he would have to ask my niece. So he walked right over to her and said "MissKenzie, can we do things?"

• After the adults were gone, the oldest of the kids (Meredith) asked my niece if she could be her "right-hand assistant" and help change diapers, etc. When her younger sister (Abilene) heard that, she asked, "Well then can I be your left-handed sister?"

• And last, but not least, Lawrence accidentally broke something of his grandpa's. My niece told him, "You're going to have to say sorry to your grandpa." Lawrence replied, "Sorry, Grandpa!" Then my niece said, "No, you'll have to say sorry to him when he gets here." So Lawrence said, "Sorry, Grandpa when you get here!" :)

Future homemakers making scrambled eggs for lunch.

Digging through our babysitter's purse while she's not looking is FUN!!!

Too much excitement for one day. ZZZZZZZ

Your Home

Your attitude sets the atmosphere in your home.


Source: Susan Godfrey

Discipling Your Children: The Power of Influence

"God has designed your family—not the youth group, not the children’s ministry, not the Christian school, but your family—as the principle discipling agent in your children’s lives."

- Voddie Baucham

It is virtually impossible to fully disciple your children if someone else has them for the majority of the time... particularly when you have little to no control over the influences that they will encounter during that time. This is a lesson that I have been steadily learning over the past year.

This time last year: We were attending a larger, age-segregated church. The kids were attending a very worldly Christian school, full of bad influences from students (and sadly, a teacher or two).

Today: We have been attending a small, family-integrated church for the past ten months. After five months of the kids attending a tiny, very conservative fundamental Baptist school (which was for the most part a very positive influence in their lives), we are now doing what you might call a cooperative homeschooling effort with my pastor and his wife until I can leave my job in May and be home full time.

The combination of leaving the worldly influence of the Christian school and leaving the youth group scene has worked wonders in the lives of my niece and nephew, and has changed our family forever!